A Wise Woman’s Words for Getting Through Hard Times

posted by Connie Sobczak / September 9, 2020

I woke up this morning to an orange sky, which continues to get darker, not lighter, as the morning goes on. It’s 10:00 am as I write this blog, and it looks like nighttime outside. Fires ravage my beautiful state of California, with new ones starting every day. Smoke continues to pour into the Bay Area, where it now sits above the fog layer and completely blocks out our sunlight.

I was distracted and fighting off panic all morning, feeling like the apocalypse had arrived. Then I went downstairs to check on my 92-year-old mama, who has been living with us since last year.

She asked if we were going to be evacuated, thinking that the orange sky and darkness must mean that a fire is near our home. I explained where the smoke is coming from, and that we are safe.

I was sitting on her couch obsessed with my sadness about the fires, my panic about experiencing night when it should be day, and about the stories I read in the news this morning describing large gatherings of people who don’t give a bleep about COVID or ending the pandemic and how angry I am that they are negatively affecting my life.

I told all of this to my mom, who snapped me out of my pity party by reminding me how lucky we are in this moment. We are not being evacuated from our home. We haven’t lost anything. We have great love in our family. We are together. She pointed out how much others are suffering. She said we need an “attitude of gratitude” and to focus on what is good, true, and beautiful in our lives because that is the energy we need to put out to the world now and always. She reminded me to stay with what I can change and to remember all of the people who are suffering right now. She even said we need to forgive those who aren’t taking COVID seriously.

Smack! The wakeup call I needed to snap out of thinking only about how the world’s issues are affecting me personally, lovingly given to me by my dear mama.

My mom is my Wise Woman. She is my guide and has been for a very long time. She is the most enlightened person I know. She’s 92 frickin’ years old and has the most beautiful attitude about life! Some days it’s hard for me to witness the ways in which my powerful mama’s mind and her ability to do certain things are changing, but she is more with it than I am when it comes to knowing how to live a life of peace. My mom focuses on love and forgiveness. She’s been looking back over her life and letting go of all of the painful experiences, forgiving those who hurt her along the way. She is truly free.

She isn’t saying not to take action, but to do so where we have the ability to make change, and to let go of the stuff that is out of our control. She isn’t saying not to feel the pain of the world, but to feel it fully and then get back to what we can do about it.

I offer you my mom’s words not just for the current conditions of the world, but for all of the moments of your life, especially the hard ones. My mom has endured great personal loss, The Great Depression, world wars, and the McCarthy era where her friends were accused of being communists and she had to be careful of every word she uttered in public. She has cared for so many people in her life, from her mentally ill sister to lost young people who lived on her couch when they were homeless, to the Vietnam veterans she counseled in her therapy practice. Her purpose in life has been her service to others. One of my main purposes now is to give back to her by caring for her with loving kindness, and cooking her delicious meals that she is so grateful for :).

Today I am holding onto my mom’s words for dear life as the sky continues to darken and everything about the world we live in feels challenging. Today I will trust her belief that together we can get through anything.

Today I will utilize The Body Positive Competencies of:

• Practice Intuitive Self-Care: I will stay indoors and boil healing herbs for my lungs.
• Cultivate Self-Love: I will forgive myself for being self-absorbed and kind to myself today for my lack of focus.
• Build Community: I will do what is in my power to help my community today and focus on the needs of others as well as my own.

I wish you safety, peace, health, and great love, today and always.

Connie

If you’re interested in learning more about The 5 Competencies of the Be Body Positive Model, check out our Fundamentals course where you can experience a beautiful process of self-inquiry that will leave you feeling uplifted, loving, and joyful.

Connie Sobczak

Connie Sobczak

Connie Sobczak, author of Embody and Co-Founder of The Body Positive, loves to watch the light and power that emerge when people recognize and embrace their magnificent, authentic selves. Her favorite pleasure activities include eating delicious meals, rock climbing, and running as fast as she can down mountains with her daughter Carmen. She gets true rest by getting lost in a good book. She is currently in love with The Plague of Doves, by Louise Erdrich, and The Lowland, by Jhumpa Lahiri.